Fun with Sasuke
by Reanult
Summary: Letters 'home' from our favorite emo from Ouran Academybest I could give.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ouran High School Host Club

Warning: Erm weird? I'll probably take it down and rehaul it.

It had been six months since Sasuke's return, and five since his reformation mission began. The boy had looked sullen and disbelieving when she first handed him the mission. Or that could have just been his everyday expression.

Anyway the highlight of her day had been reading the weekly reports he would send—in the form of letters home.

Dear Grandmother,

Naruto and I have arrived safely to our apartment, and have finished the paperwork for our new school. I hope to make you proud.

Uzimaki Sasuke

_Tsunade smirked, she could feel the suppressed rage oozing out of the ink just as sure as Sasuke was standing right in front of her. Well she would have to thank Kakashi for chosing the name Uzimaki Sasuke. Yep the adopted sons of a reclusive writer. Jiraya had a good time with that one too…_

Grandma,

What the hell is up with this school? Why do I have to go damn it I didn't do anything!!! Okay there was the pink bubbles incident but _everyone_ thought that was funny…okay just Ino...okay nobody but it was FUNNY! These are people are freaks, and they don't serve ramen what the hell kind of school doesn't serve ramen? Not to mention I'm in a class with Sasuke teme and some weird twins that have some kind of rose creating jutsu or something and get all creepy touchy-feely with each other! When can I come home?

Naruto T.N.H. (And a squiggled happy face…)

Dear Grandmother,

I have recently been recruited into an extracurrular activity, I ask permission to leave it—or remove all other members.

Uzimaki Sasuke.

Dear Sasuke,

No.

With love Grandma.

Old Lady,

Ha you should have it seen it was funny! Those creepy twins I told you about well they dragged teme off to some music room or whatever, I went along to see what was going on and if the bastard would need me to drag his ass out of something big. Nah it's just a bunch of other creepy pretty boys callin' themselves a host club or something. Anyway the tall blond one—kinda reminds me of Gai-sensei a bit with the flailing and mood swings anyway he kept going on about Sasuke's hair, and emo type and emo hair and so on and so forth. Then there is this kid with a pink bunny yea—only he's not a kid he's a senior who is also a martial arts master…who likes to walk around with a pink bunny whatever. Some tall guy that can't talk is attached to his shirt. Then there is evil glint glasses guy. Something about him makes me really not trust or like him…Anyway I lost track after a while because Sasuke looked like someone had stabbed him in the eye with a lemon. HA! This should be good some dude in their named Haruhi passed me a note on a way out saying something about help I'm being held prisoner, but before I could ask or start kickin' ass the guy in the glasses started in about a course type whatever the hell that is! And sales demografics and I made a hasty retreat…or tried to but teme tripped me and let them drag back to the changing rooms! Why the hell is there a changing room in a freakin' music room? Anyway Sasuke's pissed so I'm thrilled!

Naruto

Dear Grandmother,

These people—I HATE these people! Request school transfer immediately!

Uzimaki Sasuke

Old Lady,

THIS IS THE BEST SCHOOL EVER! The fangirls PAY! PAY damn well at that to spend time with me, I made 3,000 today---er wait do I have to send any of that to village because if so I only made 1500. Anyway I never wanna leave!

Naruto

The squealing, the crying…Sasuke-sama! If I have to hear Sasuke-sama one more time I am not sure what I will do, but it will involve blood soaked roses and PAIN! Lots and LOTS of PAIN!

Hey Granny,

Sasuke is starting to freak me out, muttering about quick deaths, and asking me how long I can hold a shadow clone and how far away from me can I keep it moving…

Naruto

_Tsunade frowned down at Sasuke's lastest entry, no greeting, no salutations. Taking his family's past instability into account she considered withdrawing him from the school. Nah._

Old Lady,

Hey problem solved granny! I don't get these rich kids at all! Sasuke-teme was being a jackass so I punched him through a window right! Well I thought he'd dodge or something but no-che the idiot! Anyway I went down to make sure he wasn't dead or nothin'! The ungrateful ass tripped me and I fell on him the girls went NUTS! I mean hella crazy what's a moe anyway? Now evil glasses overlord wants us to 'perform' everyday! Whatever that means.

Naruto

Dear Grandmother,

I am so very THRILLED that Sakura-dono has transferred to my school. Really she's organized the fangirls into an effective stalker unit. The only thing that has made this whole situation even _better _is the fact that GAARA is here now and makes the King cry and call for mommy everytime he looks at him. Mommy being the vice president of this insanity usually just laughs, and suggest that Naruto and I work on our petting. But I love it HERE really! Okay I hate it please can I come home? What do you want me to beg? I have learned my lesson I swear I will never even jaywalk again in life much less go missing nin!

Desperate Sasuke

Hey Old Lady,

I think I get it now! They think I'm doin' it with teme! THIS PEOPLE ARE PERVS! The glasses guy is trying to PIMP ME! PIMP ME! I think I'm annoyed…no that's pissed. That's REALLY pissed! I'll kill him! Speaking of killing why the hell is Gaara here? Does his sister know he's here? Hell does his village know he's here?

Naruto

Kazekage-sama,

As your faithful jounin I along with most of the village became very concerned at your disappearance. Please return to the village as soon as possible Kazekage-sama.

Special Jounin Temari

Okay that's out of the way. GAARA HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TELL US WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GO SOMEWHERE! MUCH LESS TO SCHOOL ON THE OTHER END OF THE WORLD? BRING YOUR ASS BACK HERE OR I WILL BE COMING TO GET YOU!

Your loving highly irate and worried big sister Temari

Special jounin Temari,

I left a detailed list of daily tasks and who is responsible for them. I ask that in my absence you ensure the orderly following of said list, and continued adherence to the chain of command. I know you will do excellent in that regard.

Fifth Kazekage Subaku no Gaara

I liked it better when you were afraid of me.

Gaara (the completely indifferent little brother)

Hey if you want to see the show I'm talking about visit: http://video. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Erm don't own it…

A/N: I did this for a reviewer :P See I do care…it's just the remembering of names part that's hard --; is very lazy

Dear Grandmother,

I apologize for my earlier outburst….would it be possible to get an advance on my allowance …for the next seven years?

Sasuke

Granny,

Daaaamn Sasuke lost his freakin' mind! They're some f'in crazies at this school! Right there's this one dude NekoNeko something who cares anyway he wanders around the school hiding in the shadows a lot. Did I mention this school has lots of huge windows? Anyway we were having some haunted Halloween thing right, and the weirdo put his hand on teme's shoulder—well it was kinda dark and he DID kinda sound like creepy Uncle Oricharmaru and well the school is kinda one or two –dozen classrooms short right about now…and I think the poor cat boy thing in a cape is alive…anyway Gaara won by default. No costume or nothin' just that damn blank stare and a sand jutsu shaped like a raccoon demon with glowing red eyes. It really wasn't fair!

Naruto.

"…brats."

Dear Sasuke,

No. Work it off yourself.

Granny

Dear Grandmother,

I have recently become the target of a strange all girls club, thankfully it is not in a stalker capacity. They seem fixated on stealing Naruto…whatever….I think they are my new best friends.

Sasuke

Granny,

Can I hit girls? _Please_ tell I can hit girls!

Naruto

Dear Grandmother,

One of our new friends is very curious about our family. He would like to meet you?

Sasuke.

Tsunade took a swig from her brand new hip flask, and frowned. Yea she knew the friend the persistent little friend…annoying rich kids. Luckily she that situation dealt with before hand. Fujimiya, Aya. A silent active ANBU level ninja…current identity…

Hokage sama.

Tsunade looked up at the perfectly coifed crossdresser kneeing on her ceiling. Seriously this guy was good to be able to do that in a sundress and heels…

"Ahh I trust you are dealing with the situation Ryoji…sorry Ranka."

"Yes of course …"

Tsunade cast one last jealous look at his hair (so annoyingly full of body and shine) then waved her hand dismissively. "Great."

So he liked dressing like a woman woopie. Maybe if Itachi's father hadn't beaten the boy within an inch of his life when he'd caught him trying on his mother's shoes…ah well Tsunade made it a point not to discriminate. Just do your job is all she asks. And on that note…

Granny,

PLEEAASSSE can I hit girls?!

Naruto

Naruto,

No.

Love Granny.


End file.
